It was dark when I left for work. Cold too, around 26 degrees. Drank a large coffee on the way; 3 cream, no sugar. Smoked 2 cigarettes on the way too.
I hate working at the mall. Those brain dead aimless folks intent on spending their way to happiness, really bug the hell out of me.
My car is filled with garbage from eating on the way and home from work. Always running in several directions and multi-tasking. Plugged the cell phone into the lighter to charge.
Got to work at 7:30. Counted the money,turned on the lights, straightened up, checked the computer, did the paperwork, and then at 8:00, opened the door. No customers until 10:30. Soooooooo boring. I listened to NPR on my cell phone through the ear plug. That helped.
It hit me: I HATE THIS JOB!
I do like helping people. I am a helper type. I feel best when helping others, but my job isn't about that anymore. It's about numbers, percentages, quotas, pleasing corporate fucks that make 3 million a year for giving bad advertising advice and getting us busted by the FDA for fraudulent claims about products.
I went to college for 3 years. I am a certified medical assistant. I had top grades, and was Phi Theta Kappa. 3.6 GPA, but it's to no avail, because I live in Michigan, the one state in recession right now, and because I can only find part time. No benefits. I need medical insurance for my kids. yes, I know there's medicaid, but if you've ever been on it, you know it sucks. My daughter has asthma, I have blood pressure issues, and my doctor doesn't take medicaid.
I feel so stuck right now, and so in need of a change. I find myself drawn to church again. For so long it was my only solice. One certainty in a life filled with anything but.
So many things about my life are so good right now. Just hope the job thing gets up to speed.
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