A Coming Out Story?

I was told by a friend that he was gay. He is over 20 years old and has just figured that out himself. I, being the gay friendly "Mom" type was excited and overjoyed that he was coming out.
But...... he hasn't. I'm one of only two people that know. He's terrified that anyone knows.
I thought this kind of crap was over with. It's pretty damn sad when countries like heavily Catholic Ireland are far more progressive than the good old USA. Unless we as a country can stop acting like homosexuality is a "condition", then there will be people having to hide themselves. It pisses me off!
Love is Love. It grieves me to see someone in pain because who they love doesn't fit the "norm".

Mid Life Crisis

I have been on a weird emotional roller-coaster.
Last year I learned that the best man from my wedding, left his wife and 3 kids. His ex wife called me and we commiserated on mid-life crisis men.
Last week I found that he was getting married. I laughed and said to my ex "Already?
Some people never learn"
I have so many emotions about this.
First, sorrow for the feelings of his ex. She was heartbroken over their divorce and didn't see it coming. She's going to be okay. She has a decent job and he makes lots of money so she'll get plenty of child support.
Next, I wonder why it is that the men that throw away their families because they're bored, think arrogantly that they can do better, or want younger, thinner, prettier, can immediately find another relationship.
It all hits so close to home for me. I'm still alone, still lonely. WTF?
Just what is it that keeps me from dating? I find people I'm interested in. I never know how to pursue this. I am NEVER approached by men.
Do they sense some weird insecurity? Is it simply because I'm fat? I have no idea what the deal is. I do know that my ex still isn't perfect, but he's found someone.
She's great by-the-way. I do hope their relationship works out because my kids love her.
But what the hell is wrong with me? Wish I knew.

I'll never grow up

Is there something wrong with me because I feel more comfortable with younger friends?
People my own age tend to be old farts. They aren't typically computer savvy. They show disdain for My Space. They do little dreaming or creative thinking instead focusing on edging the yard and home improvement. BOOOOORRRRRRING!
I found myself, in 2001, right back where I'd left off in 1984; college student, finding a career path, working loathsome retail jobs, except while raising two kids.
I have a couple of friends, 40ish like me, that are still interesting, fun, creative, however, they are the exception.
My Mom is still alot of fun, and so is my Dad. Downright silly at times too.
I've had two 22 year old employees tell me I don't act my age. I take it as a compliment. I am starting to wonder if this is why after 6 years of divorce, I still haven't dated. Part of this is the vibe of "leave me alone" I apparently give off. I was told by a customer of my former job that men my age probably think I'm much younger than I am and are fearful of coming off as lecherous.
Dunno....... kinda lonely sometimes.... but not for some old fart that edges the lawn.

The Joy of Parenting

I have been held hostage by a teenager.
She insists that I let her do as she wishes or she'll leave and live with her Dad. Just because she feels this will control me. She knows that I will have difficulty in paying my bills without the child support. That is not why I want custody of my children, however.
I've spent the last 17 years devoted to their care. I have sacrificed, went without, and worked like a dog at jobs I hate and busting my ass at college, for their sake.
I wanted to provide a decent life for them and support them in being their own best persons. But, alas, times are tough. I don't have money for satellite and Internet. They have to go to the library to use the computer. They have to watch regular TV. They only have Gamecube and X Box and not WI. I can't give them extra cash for Starbucks, Dip n Dots and Waffle Cone Wednesday. I'm mean because I can only give them necessities. Their Dad makes more than enough for extras. He's better than me.
So I guess I should just hand them over, admit my shortcomings in providing the lifestyle they feel they deserve, lose my home and run to Mom and Dad with my clothes and dog.
And I thought I'd done a good job in raising them..........apparently not.......

The Experiment

I recently participated in a little experiment. I stopped taking my Zoloft for a couple of weeks. Reason number one was that I didn't have the money for them, and number two, I felt I was stigmatized by taking them. I know better. I am trained in the medical field. I crashed HARD! I can no more control my low serotonin uptake than a diabetic can control their lack of insulin production.
I got the script, took them and I already feel better. I have a major obsessive/ compulsive disorder that causes be do become preoccupied with my immenet downfall. I obsess on how many ways I can and believe will lose everything and end up homeless.
Many around me aren't entirely supportive either, so i tend to run with the worst case scenario.
I took my Zoloft today, and I will continue to do so.