Friday, August 22, 2008

The Girl in The Green Dress


Halloween always gets me in the mood for a story. Last year my story wasn't finished. I'm still working on it.
Well, enjoy this new one. I WILL finish this one.





It was the perfect crisp fall morning and Julia was up early. She drank her coffee looking out at the bright red and orange leaves. It was such a relief to have the day off from work. She liked her job as a nurse, but taking a break was really nice. A typical week consisted of 4, 12-hour days then 3 off. Rarely did she have 2 days off consecutively. Her dog, a Scottie named McTavish was anxious to get out there this morning. Julia pulled on her jeans, a hoodie, and put on her tennis shoes. Then she filled her travel mug with coffee. After adding the cream, she grabbed Tav’s leash and off they went.
The crisp air was invigorating and she quickened her pace as Tav scurried excitedly. At the end of the block was a large park that was magnificent with fall colors and the lake shone orange from the rising sun. Julia made her way towards the picnic table at the edge of the woods. She sat down and took Tav off his leash. He never went very far, knowing Julia had a stash of his favorite peanut butter cookies in her pocket. Julia took a deep drink from her coffee and let out a huge sigh. She heard giggling from the woods.
“What kid would be out at 6:30 am. in the woods” Julia thought. She looked over where a large tree had fallen and sitting on it was a young woman with blond hair and dressed absurdly in a sea- green ball gown. Julia blinked a couple of times and then realized that this woman wasn’t real.
Since Julia was a little girl, she could see people that to other’s eyes weren’t there. Her mother figuring she was playing with an imaginary friend never questioned that idea until she overheard Julia call her friend “Katie”.
“What does Katie look like?” asked her mother
“She has red hair and green eyes. She said you know her” said Julia innocently
Her mother turned white and got out a photo album.
“Is this Katie?” asked her mom.
“Yes, she says that was her a long time ago before she became pretend” announced Julia
Her mother rushed to the phone to call her grandmother and after a whispered conversation her mom returned to tell her to keep her pretend friends a secret. It would be a secret between her, mom, grandma and Katie.
Later that week her grandma came over to visit and asked her a few more questions.
Katie told her to pretend she had gone away.
“They’re scared of me. They feel bad about the way I left them, so we’ll only play when no one else is around”
When Julia was a teenager she asked about Katie.
“A strange man took her from the yard and we found her dead down by the lake the next day. I always thought it was my fault because I was older and put in charge of watching her. But I was only 8 years old and I didn’t want to be bothered. Grandma didn’t blame me but I she didn’t have to. I blamed myself. Grandma never liked to talk about Katie after the funeral.”
Seemingly they had forgotten her friend Katie because it was never spoken of again. But her grandfather did tell her about his mother being able to see the spirits of those who’d passed on. He did it when Grandma wasn’t around.
“Your Grandma being a good Catholic woman doesn’t want that mentioned. She seemed to think it’s some sort of witch craft, because of some daft old priest told her so, but I always figured it as a gift from God Himself. A way of restless souls repairing their past misdeeds or something, but let’s just keep that to ourselves” he said winking.
Julia had spent most of her life pretending she didn’t see spirits. Very few people knew and no one at the hospital knew at all.
She stared at the woman in the woods but she seemed lost to herself. Some of the poor souls didn’t even see anything, but were rather just like a tape playing over and over, the same day in which they left their physical lives. Julia reckoned she seemed like someone from the 1930’s by the style of the dress she was wearing and her shoes. After finishing her coffee, Julia whistled for Tav and gave him his Nutter Butter. His tail practically wagged in circles.

Julia returned home and spent the rest of the day getting caught up on her laundry, housework and reading. She had never married but it was by choice. She’d had relationships, but never took the plunge. Julia liked her freedom and she had never wanted kids and now past 40, she figured she never would. Her dogs had been her kids. Tav was the 4th in a line of dog children starting right after she finished nursing school. There had been boyfriends, but the relationships always ended when they became bossy or demanded a commitment. She was a one man woman but she didn’t like the idea of putting up with someone else’s demands on her time. Julia was very active in her local parish and devoted a great deal of time working with the needy in her area. She volunteered nursing services for the homeless shelter near her home as well as mentoring woman at the domestic abuse shelter. There was profound satisfaction in all of her outside activities and a relationship hadn’t been part of that so far. She found men to be too demanding and self focused.
Her newest line of study was travel. She really wanted to travel to Japan and her coffee table was covered with travel guides, brochures, and language guides. She had 4 weeks of vacation time saved and figured next fall she would go.
“Too bad I can’t take you Tav, a Scotsman in Japan huh?”
Tav just looked at her and wagged his nubby tail.
Julia thought of the girl in the woods, and wondered where all of this would lead. She liked when new things presented themselves to her. Most spirits were so confused, that communication was difficult. They always knew she could see them and seemed drawn to her. She wondered if she gave off some kind of light or something.
After having a light dinner of penne pasta with lemon and asparagus she settled into bed to read her Japanese language book. Work started at 6:30 so bedtime was usually 9:00.

Julia woke up at 5:00, showered, dressed, drank a cup of coffee, (the first of many cups that day) and ate a bowl of raisin bran. She had packed a lunch of leftover pasta, a peach, yogurt and sliced cucumbers and tomatoes. She added a couple of protein bars too as she was facing a12 hour day. She never bothered with makeup at work because her face was behind a mask all day in surgery. She mad sure that Tav’s doggy door was opened to the fenced back yard and that his water was full. His automatic feeding dish had been filled yesterday, so she was ready to go.
“You be a good boy Tav” she said as she patted his head and gave him his cookie.
Julia was off to a bowel resection, a lumpectomy, and an appendectomy .She scrubbed in and set about with her work. It was a long day and she stopped after work for some lo- mein , took Tav for an evening walk, threw the ball in the yard, read the paper then took a nice long soak in the tub and back to bed. The next day was essentially identical to the previous; different patients, different surgeries, but all too similar.

Julia's next day off was two days later. Because she was used to getting up so early, she was up before the sun again. She drank her coffee on the porch in her sweats and a jacket as the chill in the air was quite pronounced. Tav was up right away and looking longingly at his leash knowing the usual course of events. Soon enough, Julia was ready for a walk and habitually they went to the park near the lake. She made her way to the tables near the woods and expectantly looked towards the fallen tree. Sure enough, there was the green clad woman. This time Julia decided to talk to her.
“Well, hello there” she called out.
The woman just looked at her blankly.
“Nice fall day isn't it?” Julia pressed on
“It isn't fall at all. It's a beautiful summer day.” laughed the woman
“Oh, my mistake. What's your name?” smiled Julia
“You know, I can't remember,” she giggled, “isn't that silly?”
“Well it happens to the best of us” Julia replied sunnily.
“I'm waiting for my Ben. He's coming to get me. We're eloping” she whispered.
“How exciting” replied Julia
Soon Tav had tired of sniffing and walked over towards Julia. He stopped suddenly and let out a low growl followed by sharp barking.
“ Now Tav, that's no way to treat my new friend” said Julia
“Are we friends?; I'm afraid I can't remember” said the woman.
“ This is silly, but I can't remember what the year is, do you?” said Julia lightly
“Well, I can at least remember that. After all, this is the year of my 18th birthday. It's 1933” she said with the greatest of confidences.
“Oh, so it is. I guess we're both a bit silly today. Who is your intended?”
“Well, it's kind of a secret but I guess I can tell you. It's Ben Blakely. I'm sure you've heard of him” said the woman grandly.
“Of course, who hasn't? Well, you're a very lucky girl”said Julia
“I certainly am. He's quite a catch and he says he loves me no matter what his family thinks. They'll get used to me in time, even though I am just a maids daughter”
“How wonderful” smiled Julia.
Tav resumed his barking and Julia used it as an excuse to depart.
“We'd better go now. Nice meeting you. Try to remember your name if we meet again”
“I'll be leaving here as soon as Ben comes. We're going to Canada. He's got a company to run there.”
“ Congratulations again. Goodbye”
“Time for your cookie Tav and time for the library for me”

Comfortably Numb


Something clicked off inside of me.
I’m not even sure what it was or what caused it.
I have recently have been really worked up about how horrible people are.
I had, in fact, saved 2 pages that I was going to post on my blog.
Here’s the thing: I don’t care anymore.
People suck, mostly due to their own frustrations, lack of money, lack of jobs, higher cost of everything. I just don’t care. Perhaps I’ve become insulated to it. Maybe I’m finally a hardened old woman.
I consider myself to be a bit of a bleeding heart. I always want to help the underdog. I’m even getting tired of that.
All I want to do is write, work, take care of my kids and dogs and go back to college. I figure that everyone makes their own path in life and I certainly don’t have a great deal of wisdom to impart on the world.
I used to think God had a magnificent plan for all of us; one that would lead us to some huge life altering point of view. I don’t think that’s necessarily His plan for all of us.
In the past, my feelings,( fear mostly), kept me from doing anything. I tend to do better when I just don’t give a shit. I am back in the doing and not feeling mode for a while. Maybe I’ll finally get something done.

Monday, August 4, 2008

I can't believe you like money too; we should hang out!


I watched the movie Idiocracy yesterday after having heard it was a must see movie.
I found it to be very funny and actually profound in it's view of the future. I work in a mall, so I can tell you, the future is here.
People all around me act much in the same way as those in the movie. Pop culture is all encompassing. Trying to do well or be enlightened is looked down upon as trying to be a brainiac or thinking you're better than someone else. Because I like the process of linking my reading or movies to real life, I have discovered a correlation.
I am a working class person, and I was raised in a working class home. My mom was of the opinion that being poor didn't mean I had to be stupid. She wanted better for me than to toil away in a factory like she did. I am trying to finish my education because I am an excellent student. My lowest GPA has been 3.6.
I am reminded consistently by others that living in Grosse Pointe is elitist. I am in some way a snob because I live in a wealthy community, although I am still working class, as is everyone on my street. I want to live in a nice place that I can enjoy. I want my kids to have a superior education. This somehow makes me uppity according to some.
Just like in the movie, Any attempt at being striving for something better is frowned upon. Most of the people around me are renters. We are a mixed population of equal parts white and black. We're all just trying to have a nice place to live, nice parks to go to, and get our kids a great education.
So knock it off already. Grosse Pointe isn't like in the movies. The majority of us aren't like 90210 or Grosse Pointe Blank. I really think that those making all of the fuss are likely the biggest snobs of all. Get over it already!

Friday, August 1, 2008

Pomp and Circumstance


All of the graduation festivities are over and my oldest, Abigail is getting ready for college. She pondered why i hadn't finished college myself.
Simple: My kids where my priority. I took parenting very seriously as a career. I didn't have kids to push them off on a daycare center or a nanny. I wanted them to be excellent individuals. They did have to do the childcare thing after the divorce, but I had put the core time in with them. I taught them to read. I encouraged their individuality and interest in music.
I'm so sad when I see people drop off infants at a center. I know that sometimes things happen; divorce, single parents, been there.
I've met the kids whose parents seemingly had them because it was " the thing to do". They're like accessories, a Prada bag or scarf. The kids are left with others deemed sufficient for child care. Those kids are usually into drugs and or alcohol. They have very low self-esteem.
Better to never have kids if you don't take it seriously. Seriously......