NO FAT CHICKS

I wish I had a better body.Losing weight is a very slow process for me. I can count on sucess only through drastic means like forgoing all carbs and a 75% raw diet, which has it's own unattractive side-effects.
I wish I had the ego most men have too. Seems every guy I meet is looking only for "perfection", especially the kind that can only be acheived through plastic surgery. I meet very few men that even inspire ANY sort of interest, but when I do it's great. Then I chit chat and get to know them. BAM- then it's all out on the table- they only find a certain type that is good enough to date; the body of a 15 year old with gigantic DDD boobs, tons of facial surgery and of course NO BODY FAT! This is from men that look to weigh as much as a defensive tackle. I don't get it?
So only perfect specimens are good enough? Those of us with body fat, great personalities, attractive and smart- we aren't even in the running? Everything I read about dating says " confidence is everything", but how confident are you going to be knowing the person you're interested in wouldn't look twice at you? This is why it's just easier to avoid relationships altogether for me. I just can't measure up.

Living Homeless Style

I have been without electricity for nearly a week now. Up until yesterday I was running my refrigerator from a cord plugged into the neighbors basement, they gave me permission when they moved. Now the utilities have transferred to my landlord and hence his building management company, so they pulled the plug and padlocked the basement door. I can still get in there because there is a hole between the rooms they don't know about, but I am sucking it up and doing without. My case worker assures me that my power will be back on by Thursday or Friday. I am certain of nothing.
All of this happened because I was unemployed for 2 years and paid sporadically. DTE usually sends shut off notices and then your case worker will help you with payments. They NEVER SENT ME ONE FOR OVER A YEAR and thus I could never get the assistance I needed before it got to be over $2000. I bought a propane heater and a camping lantern that runs on D batteries. I still have gas and can cook and shower. I have an oil lamp and I am currently at the library charging my phone, and laptop as well as blogging. I clean and cook during daylight, and I work days, so all I can do at night is bundle under my 3 comforters,listen to my battery operated radio and read. But now my son is sick. that changes everything. I have to take care of him. He has been staying with friends, but he has to come home now. I had to call in at work and miss a day. I don't have sick days or personal days, so I don't get paid. This is exactly how people become homeless- things spiral out of control and then they're on the streets. This is my waking nightmare. I continue to work with DHS, St. Vincent DePaul and work. I want to be a productive, working member of society. I just have to get through this. With God's Grace, I will.
I pray there is a special place in Hell for DTE management, right along side with Hitler and pals. They have blood and burnt babies on their hands.