Life often goes into weird cycles.
I have spent the last 10 some years busting my butt with college and working jobs for people that thought of me as an expendable commodity. My worth valued only in how much money I made for them and how much butt I kissed. I did all of this so that my kids could have what they needed. Often, it didn't work very well and they went without what they found valuable. I tried to keep them in their childhood home but the repairs were too costly since I worked the kind of crappy job one gets after being a stay-at-home mom for 10 years. The house grew nasty black mold, made me sick as hell and I had to let it go into foreclosure. We moved into a nice place, well, nice at first. Spacious and in a good neighborhood, allowing my kids to stay in Grosse Pointe schools. In 2008, I lost my job and spent 2 years on unemployment, fell behind and then no longer had child support for my daughter. I could no longer afford that place either.
A year ago I began working in my chosen field; I assist in managing an assisted living home. I love my work and it's fulfilling to make a difference. I also moved into a 2 bedroom condo that I can afford, I walk 102 steps to work, and my utilities are less than half than I was paying in Grosse Pointe Park. I am financially stable now.
My daughter has moved to Colorado in order to figure out what she wants to do. My son stayed with his dad. I am alone for the first time in 25 years. I enjoy many facets of it, but I find myself envious of friends that are still close to their kids. I have become a pariah to mine. It's too soon to tell if this will be a permanent thing, but I have to look back and reevaluate whether making them THE PRIORITY was such a great move. I try to keep in touch, but one kid is far away and another is seemingly shunning me. All I can say is that I did my best.
