I started off this month feeling really depressed about college,money, the upcoming holidays. Yesterday, after a night of dreaming about my former life as a housewife and mom, I somehow came to the conclusion that I needed to make peace with my past.
I have had an attitude about sacrificing my young life as a wife and homemaker instead of finishing college. I recoiled from anything smacking of being the mom and wife I was before. I realized that it was because I felt as though the only way I could move on from that state of mind to a working single mom was to reject it entirely. God has chosen to keep some women in the home because their husbands aren't the sort to leave them. That wasn't the case for me. So I am trying another approach to my situation, which is to be thankful for the time I did have. I was a great mom and I was an excellent cook. Before the stroke, I was an excellent housekeeper too.The battle in my mind is to go on into what God has planned for me and not to have regret. I just don't always feel strong enough to fight through all of the adversity I face; poverty, lack of education and marketable skills, brain damage, obesity. Everything is against my getting through nursing school and being fit enough to work and make a living. I don't have the strength at times, so I guess I'll have to rely on God's strength.
